mdKamil
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glorious26!!
Tayya tayya hangga kanddayya
Destroyed
643 - Screw this.



♫ Music
It's different now





Saturday, October 31, 2009 6:35 AM
Let me tell you a story

I slept at 3 a.m and I woke up at 6a.m due to weird dream I had. I saw two of myself walking down the same street at the same time.
One with a girl I used to love:another with a girl; just normal friends. Let Couple A and Couple B be A:B . Let A':B' (note the apostrophe) be myself since there was two of me.

I was just a tangent away, I saw A talking like we used to, but not anymore for now because in a breakdown in communication. Beside Couple A, there was Couple B, I saw myself in B how caring am I to that girl. How authentic I can be in front of her, It's like angels walking besides me telling me not to tell lies, not to do what Islam told not to do so. I can see the difference glowing in my face between A' and B'.

At one point, B' was quiet and A' was just happily talking with his friend. A' finally saw B', what happened? A' thought B' should be glad because A' can see his bright future. Sooner:
- A' : What happened?
- B' : I missed the way I used to talk like you, A'
- A' : Don't worry B', we had gone through ups and down together. Don't bring me in your life B'. Well me and her were just friends as you do. You know her, but I don't know who's walking besides you right now B'. I should be proud of you.
- B' : Thanks A', but i don't know why my head is bothering me. Im mad at you! You should not do this! Now I don't know who I should be walking beside with!
- A' : But I am who I am, you can't deny it. And why Im proud of you and you're mad at me?
I am your past and you are my future. And I'm scared if my future turns out to be a disaster, but B'... You show me a great example. And you should walk beside me, not with me. I may be in your sight, but don't make me put in your life.

At this point, B' was totally speechless. A' was crying because he saw B' finally realize he should not be sad because of what he did in the past. As a wise friend said 'let bygones be bygones'.
I can see B's eyes was bubbly, he stood straight as there was neither a force on him nor sadness and resentments. I saw both of myself hugging each other. Shook hands and continue their own life. So at that moment, who am I? I saw my past and I saw my future. What am I? I learn a lot in this dream. We should not dragged the past along with ourselves although how HURT and how PAINFUL it is...

Ill write again about this.
A is my past.
B is who I am now.




Friday, October 30, 2009 2:10 AM
A book in my head.

Have you guys ever across your mind, What you want to accomplish in life till death? This issue is hard to negotiate about. Influenced by the current world, believes in every individuals had; in terms of religion, culture or philosophies that had been graved in a person. You who decides for your own living and be sure there must not be any conflict to others.

When I start to sense failure in any parts of my life I've gone through, I used to blame others, I used to avoid facing the problems I had. I had this phrase in my mind 'Little things leads you to bigger things, therefore little parts of you eventually be the largest matter in your life.' There are many words to describe this. So I begin to see new context now, approach experience in a new level of humanity. I used to to be self-centered and bigoted.

Thanks to the commitment that my sister took on, she who made our whole family a new light in our home. Without her, maybe... I shouldn't say because It implies my whole family. In the past, I do have a lot of freedom in terms of time. I got to do many things in a day, except the day when I play DotA lor. As for now, I discovered freedom in a new way, a way which every individual walk through, they are speechless. This is to be general.

Lets get back to what i did recently. I always missed Subuh and Asar. Thanks eh DotA. So, there I go. I blame DotA. Its just me who had been a lazy bastard to get my ass off the chair, and out of 24 hours, it only took like 5 minutes? Or even less. As a wise man said, 'Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt'. I as a Muslim shouldn't lie to myself and others. Though man can not be perfect, hence fight for perfectness even though the imperfect in you keeps recurring. And Thanks to Razi's post on the October 11th which really inspires me. It is worth reading even though its long. Really long one. This is the best I could write authentically.

Im not perfect as what you think I am perfect,
Im just a normal person pursue for perfectness through imperfect.
Salam



こんにちは！お元気ですか？私は希望を良好な状態で皆さん
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 11:17 PM
こんにちは！お元気ですか？私は希望を良好な状態で皆さん

Just now was Maths Paper 2. All I can say is, 'No puedo hacerlo'. Its damn tough.
Yeah, cause I kinda had last minute revision. I can't think what I am going to do about my studies right now. Im just so lazy.

Pandeja, I make this short and straight forward. I can not take it anymore so I just let it be. Don;'t worry, what I am writing is what comes through my mind at this moment. The moment when i type 'THIS". So no big deal. It may not though, you can tell by the post. So what's so straight forward?

- Lol, i just found a new website. Its cool. I cant tell ya. :)
- And just now I achieve GODLIKE streak for Furion; DotA
- Nothing so straight forward by the way; its just that I can feel the true love for myself and you
- 从此, 我不知道如何表达自己给您。是的，你！在一个接一个，我们有麦当劳一起

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it.
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear. - Nelson Mendela



this is when im bored/alone
Sunday, October 25, 2009 10:44 PM

I gotta bet you, this game is addictive than other games. Oh yes, Need For Speed Shift was awsome!!! Graphics was so cool but this game is more than that. Kalau stress, geram... Maen ni game boleh lege kan. xD Lame

Ive ever played this game 24/7 non-stop. Its Twenty-four hours per day non-stop. Dont know why. Its like, gerek ah! And I play online. So you play with others. And its all about teamwork. The game is DotA by the way. You should know, its a popular non-official game. LOL.



Lighting Revenent - Razor. Best mid-game hero.

Oi, abeh RuneScape? Oh that game cost me lifetime. Its so boooooring, but its fun to play with friends. Eh Faizal? Kan Danish? Betol Tak Wan? Best Kan Has? LOL

Truely, Im a gamer. Really. I want to be a gamer as a career. What do you think? Ill be blind one day I guess.



So DotA. The best online strategic- game ever! (although its the same sheit-just with few updates weekly/monthly).

Cause there's no such thing as DotA 2nd or DotA 2.





Tadi kompang...

Macam dah lame gitu tak pergi undangan. Skali dapat pergi. Phooh! I tell you! Die peh Nasi Minyak, takble angs. Masak merah die, takble angs. Daging kambing die, takble angs. Sume la tak ble angkat. Apsl angs eh? Oh, inspired from Suhaimi Yusof I Guess; the Sakunthala's Food Palace. I guess. xD



Tapi kiternye kompang. Hoi! Masok angs. Its angin, not angkat anyways. lame. xP Bunyi macam pukol tong. Haha, takpe. Noobs takkan prasan how the beat should be. Lucky I play tambourine. Not Kompang. So I just 'chi-ching ssshhhing' or what ever you call that sssshhh'ing sound. xD

Pemain tambourine setia. Love ya Tambo~
ni lah tambo kesayangan I

Kalo pekara buruk tentang gue,

harus di britahuin. Smpi kapan deh gue ke' gini.

Nggak harus takut terus terang ama gue.

Gue yakin. Akan nyalak hidup kalian.

Adoh, udah capek. Slamat ya banci2 skalian. xD




To a friend that i never expected to be what we are
2:33 AM
Who am I to you. Well you are just my friend. Oh yea... We do talk like blood brothers/sisters. And you rock!

Sad, you got high hopes on me without letting me know. So when things you expected from me didn't show up or things that goes the other way round and you go MAD.

Sad; Too. I didn't tell you what I felt about you friend. You are just irritating. Or if Im wrong. I don't know why I dislike you.

But now, I cleared all the thoughts In my mind about you my friend, what ever sheit I did to you or you did to me, It's all done. Can't be undo. But it can be dragged to who am I or you are now... And I gave that up.

So we're clear. I may still have the bad-thoughts-of-you, but it no longer controls our relationship as a friend. Its me who decide who you are. &You rock!

Im sorry and I forgive you
we humans have breakdowns to get into success



I learn a lot by just watching this
Thursday, October 22, 2009 2:14 AM


i cried pause the m/player.



Dedicated to friends. Especially the person that struck me lor.. xD
Monday, October 19, 2009 11:32 PM
I just realized something today. Life is spacious, the world is huge. So depends on what game are you playing. I should use the term 'I'. If i choose to play the small game with small risk and small success, its a whole waste. But its feel good to stay small. With small space of freedom. Thats what i do not wish to posses

In other approaches, I choose to play a big game. This required patience, integrity towards myself and others. Sometimes it cause me confusion, fatigue and stress. This area drags me to failure. A failure where Im stuck, can't even move a step ahead. But I finally realized there is some distinctions in my head. Why feel so bad about myself? I know what i did it doesn't hurt anyone. But i kept thinking what people will think about me? Thats the source of all source that make my life down to the roots.

So through out these days. What am I to you? And what are you to me?
What are you to me, is you reflect my rays. And i can tell that your reflected ray is actually myself. You got me? I hope so. I don't know how to describe what I want to share really for now, so i make up examples. And I hope my words didn't jumbled up.If it is, there's something bad in my english.

Ill write when i something extra-ordinary crossed my mind
And, I love you.



Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically