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Thursday, January 13, 2011 7:48 PM
Presently/Recently (Expectations)

Our attitude plays a role in living life. We lively people have extra-ordinary hopes and expectations. We work on it, fight for it and the outcome shows a slight fate. There's no guarantee what we going to get but as long as we believe, god's will, it will be worth than any other, maybe not today but some other time. Control and roll. Let them be high goals, at the same time look for blind spots.

I recently face breakdown, terrible. My expectations went too high when the outcome really shows that I'm not fit enough. Have to be extra careful the next time, have to identify and note wether what the effort is enough or not. The moment I see what I've done, many things came in my mind. Parents, friends, future and stuffs. That's what I get when I don't 'control and roll'. I just sped and didn't look what is left behind.
Blunder.

It takes time to build a proper mind set to expect on any aspect carefully. I regret. For a slight moment. I should have do more work. I felt that the efforts is enough, but I'm wrong. But what ever it is, I wish to continue and let my dream in 2010 dies there. Time for new dream, new realm. I want to be fulfilled and accomplished something I've never had.

This time round, I want to make my expectations go fairly well and carefully pick what Im going to do and check for blinds spots. I want to let my brain think more than before. With the support of the only one and all people around me, even acquaintance.

I feel like deleting my blog because it is so SAD, I remember when I first have my blog, my sister said 'Nanti english bagus. Boleh practice, Cuba lah.' I was 7. And I have a blog. Not this URL. I think it is alteregoedited.blogspot, I forgot. As I'm typing, Im embarrassed towards myself. What is worse than a hyphen? But I choose not to, because I love to blog. Me and my dad, we communicate in English from the time I can talk, he said 'English is everything.' This is just so sad.

That is why my expectation is so high, I thought I could... Too bad...
I believe there's something else for me. I don't know what and how, but I believe it I can.
*sigh*



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